i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
