I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
