Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
