So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize