my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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