Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
