i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
