Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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