Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
