she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
