Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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