so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
