She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
