I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
