Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the day after is always just damage control
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
