Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
