Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
