Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
