it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
