oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
