What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
