at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hate all girls vehemently.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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