Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize