D3 body, D1 cock
if you like me you must not know who I am
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
