Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love having hate sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
