let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
