it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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