Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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