So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
