you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
