I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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