brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
