kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
