From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
