my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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