the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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