I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
