just tell him i said nine months
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Say something about gay babies.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
