I'm so fucking centered right now
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
