Just fell off a train. Bad.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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