Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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