My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
