You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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