It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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