you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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