hell yes lets make some ravioli
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
