it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
