That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
