she was so not down for the gang bang
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize