He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
