So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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