We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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