There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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