I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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