Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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