my mouth tastes like poor choices
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
