My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
