So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
