who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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