how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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