her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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