so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
